"At the beginning it seemed like a difficult decision to make, but since the operation I don’t have any regrets."
I donated a kidney to my friend Swetal in 2017. At the beginning it seemed like a difficult decision to make, but since the operation I don’t have any regrets.
Swetal and I are in a group of seven who have been close friends since we were teenagers, over 50 years ago. One day, we went out and she explained to us that she has PKD – polycystic kidney disease. The doctors told her that she needed a new kidney or else she would have to go on dialysis for the rest of her life. She asked us if any of the group wanted to donate a kidney. I almost laughed at first – I didn’t even know you physically could donate a kidney while you were still alive! We talked about it more as a group and all said that we’d look into it further.
I spent the next 3-4 days dwelling on it some more and doing my own research about living kidney donation. I was starting from virtually nothing, so did as much reading as I could – who can to become a donor, what’s actually involved, the risks surrounding donating, the recovery period after the operation, and so much more.
After a week or so I came to my decision. I called her and said I was willing to be tested. She asked if I was sure. I responded I was, if she wanted me to. She said of course!
I spoke to my family and explained that I would be tested to see if I could donate, but I didn’t know how far through I’d get. There are so many tests involved, so if nothing else it was good to know if I was able to donate before making a decision. They agreed it was worth doing to see what options were available. I’m the second youngest of seven siblings, and am very close with my younger sister. When I told her, she was fully behind me, and cried that I would do something like that for my friend.
I think my decision was partly inspired by my dad. He was a blood donor for my cousins when they were born prematurely. He passed away 22 years ago, but whenever I see my cousins (even now they’re in their 50s!) I’m reminded of what he did. I think he inspired all of us to give whatever we can to help others.
Hammersmith Hospital got in touch with me soon afterward and explained everything involved in testing, and to let them know whenever I was ready to begin. The process started in May 2016, and went on until January/February 2017 when I was told I was a match for Swetal and was able to donate.
It all felt quite slow to start with, but they can’t just dive in and say you’re ready for the operation. They had to check things like my own kidney health, if I was a match for Swetal, and that I was mentally and emotionally ready to donate my organ. I work in a school and didn’t want to tell them about it until I knew I was a match, so had to fit my tests around that too. The hospital completely understood my situation and it was never a problem.
I had a lot of emotions when I found out I was able to donate. Once I knew that, I had a decision to make. Was donating really the right decision for me? Personally, I knew almost immediately. I had known from the beginning. When the moment came, I knew I wanted to donate to my friend.
After making this decision, I told the rest of my family. My sisters and brothers already knew, as did my children, but I hadn’t told my mum. She was 89 at the time, and I didn’t want her to be unnecessarily worried about me. When she found out, she said it was a wonderful thing for me to do, as long as I was okay and not putting myself in danger. I talked her through everything I had been told during the process before then – I’m fit and healthy, I look after myself, and the NHS was happy enough with my test results to let me donate a kidney. Plus our family had no underlying health conditions, which meant the odds were that none of us would need a kidney donation in the future. That put her mind at ease, and was certainly a weight off my own back too.
Next, I told the school I worked at. I was worried about telling them, but again was reassured by how supportive they were. They told me not to worry if I had to miss any work because of the donation, and said they were fully behind the good deed I was doing. My headmistress told me “go do your amazing stuff, keep us posted!” After that, I made sure to give them a call or a message every few weeks to let them know how it was all going.
The operation was arranged for the middle of May, which would give me the rest of the summer off to recover before the school term began. I was definitely in some pain for the first two or three days after the surgery, but the healthcare team helped as much as they could. Swetal and I were put in beds side by side, which gave us some company during it all and really helped our recovery.
By the fourth day I was well enough to be sent home and recover from there. It was still a bit painful, but being in my own space really helped. My extended family all live in North London, so they came round and helped me as much as they could. That made the world of difference. Swetal had a lot of support around her too, though her recovery was a lot smoother and quicker than mine. It was fantastic to see the difference my kidney made!
I would never describe my donation as something extraordinary. It’s something I was able to do, so I did it. I’m happy I was in a position where I could do it. I’ve been able to see the effects the transplant had on Swetal, it’s given her a new lease of life. She has children of her own – what would her life be like if she had to hook up to a dialysis machine for hours and hours multiple times a week? How would she fit that into her family life, or with her career?
Seven years on, Swetal’s kidney is perfect! She still has other conditions to deal with, but my donation has given her one less thing to worry about. I’ve given her more life through my actions.
"It has now been over a year since my donation. I have zero pain or discomfort, and I am entirely back to normal with nothing but a scar to remind me of my experience."
ReadRachel already knew more than she wanted to about the process of kidney donation before she gave her spare kidney to someone she didn’t know.
ReadHenry donated a kidney to his sister Helen, and has seen first-hand the difference a donation can make for someone with kidney disease.
Read“It has made absolutely no difference to my day-to-day life. My mum, however, has a life like never before.”
ReadNaomi knew she wanted to donate a kidney after learning about kidney disease and reality of life on dialysis.
ReadEmma donated her kidney to a stranger eight years ago after first seeing a story about non-directed donation on TV four years previously.
ReadJoyce thought that she was too old to donate a kidney, before learning there was no upper age limit for donating.
ReadMandy donated one of her kidneys to her younger cousin Lou, who was diagnosed with kidney problems when she was two years old.
Read"I don’t consider myself to be a hero or brave. I just did what I was brought up to do – to help others."
ReadJulie worked hard to stay fit and healthy while she was preparing to donate a kidney to her nephew.
ReadTessa believes that donating a kidney to a stranger is one of the best decisions she's ever made.
ReadLynn was 75 when she donated a kidney altruistically. "I knew I wanted to do it if I was capable of doing so."
Read“You don’t need to be a superhero, you don’t need to be a mega star of any sort. It’s something that normal people just like me can do."
ReadLaura knew she would donate a kidney to her sister if she needed it. When the time came, she found the process absolutely worth it.
ReadMatt's dream of joining the police was shattered by an unexpected diagnosis of kidney disease, but his mother's kidney donation allowed him to thrive and pursue new dreams.
Read"I've learnt a lot about myself and my own health – I would do it again in a heartbeat (if I had another kidney to spare!)"
Read"I believe that if you are in a position to help someone else less fortunate than yourself, then you should do so."
ReadEvery kidneyversary deserves a celebration, but in 2024 Elaine marked a particularly poignant milestone – 10 years since she donated a kidney to her eldest daughter.
Read"I feel immeasurably better in myself knowing I have been able to give my brother the gift of a healthy life."
ReadDennis is keen to show people that you can still live your life as normal and achieve great things after donating a kidney.
ReadWhen Ali heard that a former colleague was waiting for a kidney transplant, he knew within minutes that he would offer one of his.
Read"My mum needed a kidney, and I didn’t need both of mine. When I heard that, I didn't have any hesitation."
ReadKathryn faced life-changing kidney failure after being diagnosed with the rare disease, IgA vasculitis.
ReadMarianne has seen first hand the benefits that kidney donation can bring to a family, and feels blessed that she was able to donate a kidney to her brother.
ReadBen felt drained by kidney disease for over 12 years before his cousin gave him a second chance at life by donating his kidney.
ReadJulie donated to her son and knows first hand that donating an organ doesn’t just save a person. It saves a family.
ReadAnne donated into the UK Living Kidney Sharing Scheme so that her brother could receive a kidney transplant.
Read"Within both the Jain and Hindu faiths benevolence to others is supposed to be a key principle. What could be a greater act of benevolence than transforming someone’s life by giving them part of yourself?"
Read"If I had more Kidneys to give, I'd be donating to anyone who needed one."
ReadTrainee teacher Mark is grateful for the life-saving kidney transplant from his brother that put him back on track for life and his career.
ReadSheldon & Hayley watched their daughter Daisy-May go from a shock diagnosis of kidney failure to dialysis, then transplant, in an emotional rollercoaster lasting 16 months.
ReadMy donor gave me a life to live for. I have done things I had never considered doing whilst on dialysis.
Read"If I had another kidney to spare, I would donate in a heartbeat. It was life changing for my husband, and for me as a person."
ReadDavid is just an average Joe. A motorcycling, 54-year-old father and grandfather. And 6 years ago, he donated one of his kidneys to someone who needed it more than he did.
Read40 years ago, Kathleen donated one of her kidneys to Cheryl, who was just five years old at the time.
Read"Giving a small part of me that I didn’t need to someone else would make little difference in my life, but a huge difference in theirs – it was an easy decision for me to make."
ReadLiz's family struggled at first with her determination to donate her kidney to someone unrelated to her.
Read"I donated a kidney to my dad 10 years ago, aged 25. To me, it was a no brainer."
ReadSarah had seen the life-changing difference donating a kidney could have, and immediately knew it was something she wanted to do.
ReadI would not feel as comfortable in my own skin as I do now if I had not donated my kidney.
ReadPete’s kidney gave me my life back and gave my son Edward a mum with energy and vitality.
ReadWhether you’ve already decided to donate a kidney, or you are interested in finding out more about the process and what it involves, we’re here to answer any questions you might have.
