"My husband was living on dialysis, and I saw the constant reality of what that meant for him."
I had been with my partner (now my husband) for over a year when he sat me down and told me that he needed a kidney transplant. I already knew he had kidney disease, but we’d never really spoken about him needing a kidney donation before then. But at that point, he had several appointments with his consultants and had been told that the best option for him would be to get a transplant from a living donor, if one was available.
He was living on dialysis, and I saw the constant reality of what that meant for him. He told me that he’d been waiting over five years for a compatible kidney from a deceased donor, but it had never come.
My pretty immediate response was, “Ok then, let’s see if I’m a match for you.”
Beginning the tests
I started the process in 2017. Quite quickly after beginning the tests, the doctors decided that my GFR rate (how much blood my kidneys can filter each minute) was slightly too low to be considered healthy enough to donate a kidney. The healthcare team thought this was probably because I was working as a cabin crew member at the time, which may be having an effect on my kidneys. My partner and I chatted about it and agreed it was good that we tried but we couldn’t do much more, so we put the matter to bed.
The second attempt
Thankfully his dreams came true and he got a kidney donation from a deceased donor a few years later. That really helped his situation for a few years. Sadly, however, that kidney failed during lockdown. Again, he was told that a kidney from a living donor would be the best option for him, as kidneys from living donors can last longer and have a higher success rate.
At this point I was no longer a cabin crew member, so suggested I try again in case my GFR had risen. The living donor coordinators thought it probably still wouldn’t be an option, but was worth testing again just in case. Lo and behold, when they tested me my GFR had shot up! The team had never seen something like this happen before, but were really happy to proceed given the test results.
I was more comfortable being tested for the second time as I had a better idea of what to expect. I felt mentally prepared. I have a fear of needles, but tried to put the thought to the back of my mind and just got on with it. I kept looking at my husband and thinking, if he can go through what he lives with then I can get through this short period of testing. Honestly once they realised I could donate, the whole testing process happened quite quickly.
As testing continued, we found out my kidney wasn’t a direct match for my partner. That’s when we found out about the Kidney Sharing Scheme. Through the scheme, I could give my kidney to someone else on the kidney waiting list who was a better match for it, and in return my husband would get a kidney that was a better match for him. It made sense to us – we’d still get the outcome we wanted, so what did it matter that my kidney went to someone else? We said, let’s do it.
We were put onto the Sharing Scheme matching runs and waited for another matching donor-recipient partner to be found. It took about two years, but in the end they said they had found someone and we could move forward.
Transplant Day
Our operations happened in December 2022. We were somewhat unfortunate as we went into hospital on the first day of a nurse’s strike. There was some conversation about whether it should be postponed, but the healthcare professionals said everything was in place for us and we were fine to move ahead. My transplant coordinator who had been with me all through my journey was also on strike, so I didn’t have her with me on the day. Thankfully my husband had been through countless hospital visits countless times before and was used to the madness of it all, so he was able to talk everything through with me. It was all fine in the end, but certainly chaotic!
I went down for my operation at 6:00am. I knew that when I woke up, my husband would be in intensive care as it was his 4th kidney transplant, so they wanted to keep a close eye on him. After I woke up, the staff were hugely apologetic as they didn’t have the capacity to take me to see him. I completely understood and focused on my own recovery.
My transplant happened on Friday, and by Sunday I was well enough to be discharged. His mum was keeping me up to date in the meantime as she was able to go between our wards. It was such a relief to be told that everything went well for him. It took a little while for the kidney to start working, but that was completely expected. Sadly he had to stay in intensive care for unrelated issues (someone on our ward had flu and his immune system was compromised because of his medication after the operation), but he was well enough to come home after ten days. He still has other medical issues to deal with but the transplant meant he no longer has to worry about living around dialysis. It’s one big weight lifted from his mind.
I found my recovery pretty tough to start with – to be honest, I’d never really been unwell before! I had expected myself to bounce back quicker than the average person. Even so, I was only off work for seven weeks. It was a hard start but once I got over the initial 4-5 weeks I really started bouncing back.
Since those initial few months, my life has been no different at all. Outside of drinking more water, I can’t say I notice a difference. I work with so many different people and love talking about what I’ve been through and showing people that you can live a totally normal life with one kidney.
The pro’s of my donation absolutely outweigh the cons. Yes, I have some scars, the recovery period was hard, and the day of my transplant was chaos. But I changed my husband’s life. AND, by being a part of the Sharing Scheme, I changed someone else’s life out there too! That minor difficult time I went through has made such a difference to people struggling far more than I ever have. I saw the reality of what it means for someone to live on dialysis, and I know that the difference I made hugely outweighs what I went through.
"I set myself clear goals to return to fitness and running after my kidney donation."
Read"This is me, Louise Sach, shortly after I was diagnosed with chronic renal failure."
Read"It has now been over a year since my donation. I have zero pain or discomfort, and I am entirely back to normal with nothing but a scar to remind me of my experience."
ReadRachel already knew more than she wanted to about the process of kidney donation before she gave her spare kidney to someone she didn’t know.
ReadHenry donated a kidney to his sister Helen, and has seen first-hand the difference a donation can make for someone with kidney disease.
Read“It has made absolutely no difference to my day-to-day life. My mum, however, has a life like never before.”
ReadNaomi knew she wanted to donate a kidney after learning about kidney disease and reality of life on dialysis.
ReadEmma donated her kidney to a stranger eight years ago after first seeing a story about non-directed donation on TV four years previously.
ReadJoyce thought that she was too old to donate a kidney, before learning there was no upper age limit for donating.
ReadMandy donated one of her kidneys to her younger cousin Lou, who was diagnosed with kidney problems when she was two years old.
Read"I don’t consider myself to be a hero or brave. I just did what I was brought up to do – to help others."
ReadJulie worked hard to stay fit and healthy while she was preparing to donate a kidney to her nephew.
Read"At the beginning it seemed like a difficult decision to make, but since the operation I don’t have any regrets."
ReadTessa believes that donating a kidney to a stranger is one of the best decisions she's ever made.
ReadLynn was 75 when she donated a kidney altruistically. "I knew I wanted to do it if I was capable of doing so."
Read“You don’t need to be a superhero, you don’t need to be a mega star of any sort. It’s something that normal people just like me can do."
ReadLaura knew she would donate a kidney to her sister if she needed it. When the time came, she found the process absolutely worth it.
ReadMatt's dream of joining the police was shattered by an unexpected diagnosis of kidney disease, but his mother's kidney donation allowed him to thrive and pursue new dreams.
Read"I've learnt a lot about myself and my own health – I would do it again in a heartbeat (if I had another kidney to spare!)"
Read"I believe that if you are in a position to help someone else less fortunate than yourself, then you should do so."
ReadEvery kidneyversary deserves a celebration, but in 2024 Elaine marked a particularly poignant milestone – 10 years since she donated a kidney to her eldest daughter.
Read"I feel immeasurably better in myself knowing I have been able to give my brother the gift of a healthy life."
ReadDennis is keen to show people that you can still live your life as normal and achieve great things after donating a kidney.
ReadWhen Ali heard that a former colleague was waiting for a kidney transplant, he knew within minutes that he would offer one of his.
Read"My mum needed a kidney, and I didn’t need both of mine. When I heard that, I didn't have any hesitation."
ReadKathryn faced life-changing kidney failure after being diagnosed with the rare disease, IgA vasculitis.
ReadMarianne has seen first hand the benefits that kidney donation can bring to a family, and feels blessed that she was able to donate a kidney to her brother.
ReadBen felt drained by kidney disease for over 12 years before his cousin gave him a second chance at life by donating his kidney.
ReadJulie donated to her son and knows first hand that donating an organ doesn’t just save a person. It saves a family.
ReadAnne donated into the UK Living Kidney Sharing Scheme so that her brother could receive a kidney transplant.
Read"Within both the Jain and Hindu faiths benevolence to others is supposed to be a key principle. What could be a greater act of benevolence than transforming someone’s life by giving them part of yourself?"
Read"If I had more Kidneys to give, I'd be donating to anyone who needed one."
ReadTrainee teacher Mark is grateful for the life-saving kidney transplant from his brother that put him back on track for life and his career.
ReadSheldon & Hayley watched their daughter Daisy-May go from a shock diagnosis of kidney failure to dialysis, then transplant, in an emotional rollercoaster lasting 16 months.
ReadMy donor gave me a life to live for. I have done things I had never considered doing whilst on dialysis.
Read"If I had another kidney to spare, I would donate in a heartbeat. It was life changing for my husband, and for me as a person."
ReadDavid is just an average Joe. A motorcycling, 54-year-old father and grandfather. And 6 years ago, he donated one of his kidneys to someone who needed it more than he did.
Read40 years ago, Kathleen donated one of her kidneys to Cheryl, who was just five years old at the time.
Read"Giving a small part of me that I didn’t need to someone else would make little difference in my life, but a huge difference in theirs – it was an easy decision for me to make."
ReadLiz's family struggled at first with her determination to donate her kidney to someone unrelated to her.
Read"I donated a kidney to my dad 10 years ago, aged 25. To me, it was a no brainer."
ReadSarah had seen the life-changing difference donating a kidney could have, and immediately knew it was something she wanted to do.
ReadI would not feel as comfortable in my own skin as I do now if I had not donated my kidney.
ReadPete’s kidney gave me my life back and gave my son Edward a mum with energy and vitality.
ReadWhether you’ve already decided to donate a kidney, or you are interested in finding out more about the process and what it involves, we’re here to answer any questions you might have.
