“I’m a great believer that when you light a lamp for somebody, it will also brighten your path.”
In 2014, my husband Kirit was told that he had developed something called ‘FSGS kidney disease’. In layman’s language, that meant he had scars on his kidneys which stopped them from doing their job of cleaning out his blood.
The healthcare team told us that he would soon need a kidney transplant, or else he would need to start dialysis. They explained how dialysis happens and the different options available, and they all looked quite painful. It would involve him being hooked up to a machine for many hours, several days a week. He would also need to start carefully controlling his food and drink, only drinking a certain amount of water each day and cooking all his meals in a certain way.
I already knew my blood type and that I was a universal donor, so I immediately put my name forward to donate a kidney for him. Our hope was that he could have a transplant before he needed to begin dialysis. The time had come where our children had grown up and left the house, we had grandkids on the way, and we wanted to enjoy our lives as best we could.
I think a big inspiration for me offering to donate was my dad. When he was in his late 70s, he told us that he wanted his whole body donated for education in India. It made me think – if he can give his whole body for such a wonderful cause after he dies, then what’s stopping me from just giving my kidney while I’m still alive?
There were a lot of tests over the next few months to make sure I had two healthy kidneys and would be able to donate, including blood tests, MRI scans, an ECG test – at every step the healthcare team were very good at keeping us updated and explaining why each test was needed. I felt very well informed at every step of the journey.
Unfortunately before we were able to finish the tests, Kirit was told that his kidneys had continued to deteriorate, and he would need to begin dialysis. This involved him being attached to a dialysis machine three times a week, for four to six hours each time.
The tests continued and thankfully I was told the wonderful news that I was able to donate, and that my kidneys were a match for Kirit.
We messaged our two children to let them know the news. My daughter was really happy to hear I could donate. She is a physiotherapist, and said she knew that a kidney from a living donor lasted longer than one from a deceased donor. My son was also happy about the good news and accepted that it was the right thing to do for his dad, though he did tell us he was very scared about the idea of both of his parents having major surgery at the same time. To be honest I hadn’t thought about that point before, and we had a lot of conversations to make sure everyone was happy with the situation.
We were given a date for our operation, in May 2016, however unfortunately it was cancelled at the last minute because Kirit’s final blood test results were not okay. Throughout the whole process they made it clear that the donation would only go ahead if it was safe to do so, and if there was as high a chance as possible that it would be a success. The operation was postponed to July – the month we were expecting our first grandchild.
The timing of the operation turned out to be very lucky, as our granddaughter was born the day before we were due to go in for the operation. Kirit was able to go into hospital and hold his granddaughter, before being admitted himself the following day.
At that point, I felt completely ready for the transplant, both mentally and physically. Sadly however, I received a phone call from the hospital. They had given Kirit an ECG test to see if he was healthy enough for the operation, and they results weren’t okay. They wanted to be 100% sure that Kirit’s body was healthy enough for the operation, and that they wouldn’t waste the precious kidney, so they wanted to postpone the operation and check his heart further.
The operation was rearranged for October 2016 at Hammersmith Hospital – it was third time lucky, as this one went ahead! My son dropped Kirit off the night before, then drove me in the following morning. He was wonderful and stayed with us both until the procedures were done.
Our beds in the hospital were next to each other after the donation. We were both in quite a bit of pain at first, but it meant so much that we could keep each other company and play some Bridge games to pass the time together.
After a day or two I was well enough to be moved to a regular ward, before being discharged the day after. Kirit stayed in hospital for a week for monitoring before being discharged himself. His recovery was quite slow at first, but after six months it was like I had watched him be reborn! It gave him a new lease on life. Suddenly he was able to enjoy the time we had with our grandchildren without feeling wiped out afterwards. Before the transplant, he needed medical permission to go on an airplane, but now the world was open to us. We took trips to India, Singapore, Bali, Turkey – it gave both of us our lives back. He was able to be there for his five granddaughters and spend quality time with them in a way he otherwise wouldn’t have been able to.
Very sadly my husband recently passed away, around eight years after I donated a kidney to him. Since then, some people have asked me how I feel giving one of my organs to someone who has since died anyway. I tell them that I’m not able to change his destiny, but what I could do was improve my husband’s quality of life for his last years. I had that potential inside me, and I think it was a great thing to do.
We are taught that sharing is caring. I had a spare kidney, and it is an honour I was able to share it with someone who needed it far more than I did. It had such a monumental effect on Kirit’s life, and all it left on me was a small scar, which at this point has basically disappeared. I saw the difference my donation had for someone, and I would absolutely recommend other people to consider if they too could change someone’s life.
"If I had three kidneys, I’d absolutely donate another one tomorrow, unquestionably."
Read"It’s now been almost 13 years since I donated, and nothing has changed in terms of my health or my lifestyle."
Read"Here was a chance to do something kind without having to wait for someone I know to need my support."
Read"Seeing how it helped my brother has made it all so, so worth it. As much as the journey was scary, it’s proven to be so rewarding."
Read“I wanted to share my kidney donation story to help build awareness of the good that we all can do to help someone worse off.”
Read“It’s amazing how a small amount of inconvenience on my part can make such a huge difference to someone else.”
Read20 years ago, David's enthusiasm for life was put to the test when he found out his kidneys were failing and he would need a transplant.
ReadAisha is determined to raise awareness of living kidney donation and encourage more people in South Asian communities to consider donating.
Read"My husband was living on dialysis, and I saw the constant reality of what that meant for him."
Read"I set myself clear goals to return to fitness and running after my kidney donation."
Read"This is me, Louise Sach, shortly after I was diagnosed with chronic renal failure."
Read"It has now been over a year since my donation. I have zero pain or discomfort, and I am entirely back to normal with nothing but a scar to remind me of my experience."
ReadRachel already knew more than she wanted to about the process of kidney donation before she gave her spare kidney to someone she didn’t know.
ReadHenry donated a kidney to his sister Helen, and has seen first-hand the difference a donation can make for someone with kidney disease.
Read“It has made absolutely no difference to my day-to-day life. My mum, however, has a life like never before.”
ReadNaomi knew she wanted to donate a kidney after learning about kidney disease and reality of life on dialysis.
ReadEmma donated her kidney to a stranger eight years ago after first seeing a story about non-directed donation on TV four years previously.
ReadJoyce thought that she was too old to donate a kidney, before learning there was no upper age limit for donating.
ReadMandy donated one of her kidneys to her younger cousin Lou, who was diagnosed with kidney problems when she was two years old.
Read"I don’t consider myself to be a hero or brave. I just did what I was brought up to do – to help others."
ReadJulie worked hard to stay fit and healthy while she was preparing to donate a kidney to her nephew.
Read"At the beginning it seemed like a difficult decision to make, but since the operation I don’t have any regrets."
ReadTessa believes that donating a kidney to a stranger is one of the best decisions she's ever made.
ReadLynn was 75 when she donated a kidney altruistically. "I knew I wanted to do it if I was capable of doing so."
Read“You don’t need to be a superhero, you don’t need to be a mega star of any sort. It’s something that normal people just like me can do."
ReadLaura knew she would donate a kidney to her sister if she needed it. When the time came, she found the process absolutely worth it.
ReadMatt's dream of joining the police was shattered by an unexpected diagnosis of kidney disease, but his mother's kidney donation allowed him to thrive and pursue new dreams.
Read"I've learnt a lot about myself and my own health – I would do it again in a heartbeat (if I had another kidney to spare!)"
Read"I believe that if you are in a position to help someone else less fortunate than yourself, then you should do so."
ReadEvery kidneyversary deserves a celebration, but in 2024 Elaine marked a particularly poignant milestone – 10 years since she donated a kidney to her eldest daughter.
Read"I feel immeasurably better in myself knowing I have been able to give my brother the gift of a healthy life."
ReadDennis is keen to show people that you can still live your life as normal and achieve great things after donating a kidney.
ReadWhen Ali heard that a former colleague was waiting for a kidney transplant, he knew within minutes that he would offer one of his.
Read"My mum needed a kidney, and I didn’t need both of mine. When I heard that, I didn't have any hesitation."
ReadKathryn faced life-changing kidney failure after being diagnosed with the rare disease, IgA vasculitis.
ReadMarianne has seen first hand the benefits that kidney donation can bring to a family, and feels blessed that she was able to donate a kidney to her brother.
ReadBen felt drained by kidney disease for over 12 years before his cousin gave him a second chance at life by donating his kidney.
ReadJulie donated to her son and knows first hand that donating an organ doesn’t just save a person. It saves a family.
ReadAnne donated into the UK Living Kidney Sharing Scheme so that her brother could receive a kidney transplant.
Read"Within both the Jain and Hindu faiths benevolence to others is supposed to be a key principle. What could be a greater act of benevolence than transforming someone’s life by giving them part of yourself?"
Read"If I had more Kidneys to give, I'd be donating to anyone who needed one."
ReadTrainee teacher Mark is grateful for the life-saving kidney transplant from his brother that put him back on track for life and his career.
ReadSheldon & Hayley watched their daughter Daisy-May go from a shock diagnosis of kidney failure to dialysis, then transplant, in an emotional rollercoaster lasting 16 months.
ReadMy donor gave me a life to live for. I have done things I had never considered doing whilst on dialysis.
Read"If I had another kidney to spare, I would donate in a heartbeat. It was life changing for my husband, and for me as a person."
ReadDavid is just an average Joe. A motorcycling, 54-year-old father and grandfather. And 6 years ago, he donated one of his kidneys to someone who needed it more than he did.
Read40 years ago, Kathleen donated one of her kidneys to Cheryl, who was just five years old at the time.
Read"Giving a small part of me that I didn’t need to someone else would make little difference in my life, but a huge difference in theirs – it was an easy decision for me to make."
ReadLiz's family struggled at first with her determination to donate her kidney to someone unrelated to her.
Read"I donated a kidney to my dad 10 years ago, aged 25. To me, it was a no brainer."
ReadSarah had seen the life-changing difference donating a kidney could have, and immediately knew it was something she wanted to do.
ReadI would not feel as comfortable in my own skin as I do now if I had not donated my kidney.
ReadPete’s kidney gave me my life back and gave my son Edward a mum with energy and vitality.
ReadWhether you’ve already decided to donate a kidney, or you are interested in finding out more about the process and what it involves, we’re here to answer any questions you might have.
