"I don’t consider myself to be a hero or brave. I just did what I was brought up to do – to help others."
I was inspired to become a Living Donor because I was troubled by how tough dialysis is for those having to endure it. I am also a Roman Catholic, so I see it as my duty to help others live a happy and full life.
I first found out about non-directed altruistic donation through the NHS website. I felt motivated by wanting to help and felt like I was in a good position in my life in terms of age and circumstances to begin the process.
My long donor journey began in March 2019 with a face-to-face discussion with a living kidney donor coordinator at the Manchester Royal Infirmary. By July, I had also seen a renal consultant and an independent HTA assessor (for the psychological evaluation). Then we hit a major snag – a kidney stone was discovered in my left kidney on the CT scan. I had no idea that I even had a kidney stone! We could not proceed any further with the donation until this stone could be surgically removed.
Soon after, the Covid-19 pandemic hit in 2020 and my tests were suspended. This was extremely frustrating for me as I just wanted to get the donation completed! However, there was nothing I could do about it – it was out of my control.
It wasn’t until 2021 that the kidney stone was removed from my left kidney after two attempts. During all of the tests my health and safety always came first. I always felt reassured and given the full facts by the knowledgeable consultants and nurses to make my own informed decisions after each test. I never felt pressured. Some of my tests had to be repeated because of the delay caused by the pandemic, as they wanted to make sure my results were still up to date and correct. On the positive side, at least I had even more time to carefully consider if donation was still right for me.
By the start of 2024, I was still determined to go through with the donation. The Living Donor Coordinator officially registered me for the April cross-matching run. I was surprised at how fast a match was found for my kidney. When the Living Donor Coordinator told me that the cross-matching blood tests were successful, it began feeling more real that the donation was actually going to happen. My parents, partner and friends knew they were not going to deter me from donating as they know how determined I am. Of course, they were still apprehensive (probably even more than I was!). Nevertheless, the healthcare team around me made it clear that I could change my mind about donating at any time prior to the set date of the operation.
I was admitted to the Manchester Royal Infirmary the night before my operation in June 2024. I was put on an IV drip. When the morning came, I wasn’t nervous or worried. This was probably because I had been fully informed about all of what was going to happen. When I was being put under in the anaesthetic room, it suddenly dawned on me “oh my this is real now”!
It took them three hours to remove my left kidney. My kidney was used in the UK Living Kidney Sharing Scheme, which the Living Donor Coordinator told me meant that it enabled two donations to take place.
The day after my operation, the hospital’s living donor team came to the ward to see how I was. They showed genuine care for me and enormous gratitude for my donation.
Looking back, I did underestimate how much pain I would be in for the first couple of weeks after the operation, though the care and support I was given was very good. The nurses on the ward were always checking my pain level, blood pressure, oxygen saturation levels and bloods. I was given plenty of paracetamol and codeine to take home with me upon discharge too. By the third week after the operation, the pain where my left kidney had been disappeared completely – though it does flare up occasionally after periods of prolonged walking.
The date of the operation is a date I’ll never forget. It was the day when my life changed forever. I have no regrets about donating my left kidney. If I could, I would donate my right kidney too. I am relieved to know that after my death I can help even more people to live because I am on the Organ Donation Register. After the surgery, all my family, friends and work colleagues said I was a hero and a brave person for donating. I don’t consider myself to be a hero or brave. I just did what I was brought up to do – to help others.
As regards to the recipient of my left kidney, I wasn’t told much about them. I do think about how they are getting on and pray that they look after the gift I have given them. So far, I haven’t received any communication from them, and I am fine with that. I was advised early in the process by the Living Donor Coordinator that I may not hear anything from the recipient. If they do choose to communicate with me, it would be done through the Living Donor Coordinator. If I was to ever met him face-to-face it would feel odd because the only thing we’d have in common is one of my organs – that is not something that is usual for people to have as a reason to know a stranger!
My key advice for anyone considering becoming a living donor is to be prepared for setbacks (such as kidney stones in my case!). Don’t be upset if it’s not safe for you to donate. Don’t forget that even coming forward to donate is brave. Some of the tests can be intrusive and seem never-ending, but they’re all there for your own health and safety. In terms of emotions, don’t be alarmed if you don’t feel how you would expect to – the donor evaluation is so time-consuming that you don’t always have time to process everything you are feeling. I had a good cry in the days after the operation – it was a release of pent-up relief – a realisation of what I had done and joy all rolled into one. It is nothing to be ashamed of.
Also, be prepared to be extremely tired for at least six weeks after surgery. I was frustrated by my fatigue after doing any physical activity as I don’t like sitting around doing nothing and not working. I was grateful to be back at work on a phased return four weeks after my operation. Everyone recovers differently and don’t feel pressured into getting better quickly. Lastly, remember to eat well, stay hydrated, and monitor your blood pressure. Your body will need lots of fuel to heal itself.
Good luck, and look after yourself!
"It has now been over a year since my donation. I have zero pain or discomfort, and I am entirely back to normal with nothing but a scar to remind me of my experience."
ReadRachel already knew more than she wanted to about the process of kidney donation before she gave her spare kidney to someone she didn’t know.
ReadHenry donated a kidney to his sister Helen, and has seen first-hand the difference a donation can make for someone with kidney disease.
Read“It has made absolutely no difference to my day-to-day life. My mum, however, has a life like never before.”
ReadNaomi knew she wanted to donate a kidney after learning about kidney disease and reality of life on dialysis.
ReadEmma donated her kidney to a stranger eight years ago after first seeing a story about non-directed donation on TV four years previously.
ReadJoyce thought that she was too old to donate a kidney, before learning there was no upper age limit for donating.
ReadMandy donated one of her kidneys to her younger cousin Lou, who was diagnosed with kidney problems when she was two years old.
ReadJulie worked hard to stay fit and healthy while she was preparing to donate a kidney to her nephew.
Read"At the beginning it seemed like a difficult decision to make, but since the operation I don’t have any regrets."
ReadTessa believes that donating a kidney to a stranger is one of the best decisions she's ever made.
ReadLynn was 75 when she donated a kidney altruistically. "I knew I wanted to do it if I was capable of doing so."
Read“You don’t need to be a superhero, you don’t need to be a mega star of any sort. It’s something that normal people just like me can do."
ReadLaura knew she would donate a kidney to her sister if she needed it. When the time came, she found the process absolutely worth it.
ReadMatt's dream of joining the police was shattered by an unexpected diagnosis of kidney disease, but his mother's kidney donation allowed him to thrive and pursue new dreams.
Read"I've learnt a lot about myself and my own health – I would do it again in a heartbeat (if I had another kidney to spare!)"
Read"I believe that if you are in a position to help someone else less fortunate than yourself, then you should do so."
ReadEvery kidneyversary deserves a celebration, but in 2024 Elaine marked a particularly poignant milestone – 10 years since she donated a kidney to her eldest daughter.
Read"I feel immeasurably better in myself knowing I have been able to give my brother the gift of a healthy life."
ReadDennis is keen to show people that you can still live your life as normal and achieve great things after donating a kidney.
ReadWhen Ali heard that a former colleague was waiting for a kidney transplant, he knew within minutes that he would offer one of his.
Read"My mum needed a kidney, and I didn’t need both of mine. When I heard that, I didn't have any hesitation."
ReadKathryn faced life-changing kidney failure after being diagnosed with the rare disease, IgA vasculitis.
ReadMarianne has seen first hand the benefits that kidney donation can bring to a family, and feels blessed that she was able to donate a kidney to her brother.
ReadBen felt drained by kidney disease for over 12 years before his cousin gave him a second chance at life by donating his kidney.
ReadJulie donated to her son and knows first hand that donating an organ doesn’t just save a person. It saves a family.
ReadAnne donated into the UK Living Kidney Sharing Scheme so that her brother could receive a kidney transplant.
Read"Within both the Jain and Hindu faiths benevolence to others is supposed to be a key principle. What could be a greater act of benevolence than transforming someone’s life by giving them part of yourself?"
Read"If I had more Kidneys to give, I'd be donating to anyone who needed one."
ReadTrainee teacher Mark is grateful for the life-saving kidney transplant from his brother that put him back on track for life and his career.
ReadSheldon & Hayley watched their daughter Daisy-May go from a shock diagnosis of kidney failure to dialysis, then transplant, in an emotional rollercoaster lasting 16 months.
ReadMy donor gave me a life to live for. I have done things I had never considered doing whilst on dialysis.
Read"If I had another kidney to spare, I would donate in a heartbeat. It was life changing for my husband, and for me as a person."
ReadDavid is just an average Joe. A motorcycling, 54-year-old father and grandfather. And 6 years ago, he donated one of his kidneys to someone who needed it more than he did.
Read40 years ago, Kathleen donated one of her kidneys to Cheryl, who was just five years old at the time.
Read"Giving a small part of me that I didn’t need to someone else would make little difference in my life, but a huge difference in theirs – it was an easy decision for me to make."
ReadLiz's family struggled at first with her determination to donate her kidney to someone unrelated to her.
Read"I donated a kidney to my dad 10 years ago, aged 25. To me, it was a no brainer."
ReadSarah had seen the life-changing difference donating a kidney could have, and immediately knew it was something she wanted to do.
ReadI would not feel as comfortable in my own skin as I do now if I had not donated my kidney.
ReadPete’s kidney gave me my life back and gave my son Edward a mum with energy and vitality.
ReadWhether you’ve already decided to donate a kidney, or you are interested in finding out more about the process and what it involves, we’re here to answer any questions you might have.
