My sister had health problems from a very young age. We discovered early on that she only had one working kidney, and the other was the size of a pea. When she was around 9 or 10 years old, she lost her spleen. From that moment, I knew that if she ever got to the point where she needed a kidney, I would be there for her. It was quite an unusual thing to promise yourself at a young age, but it was a commitment I made in my heart!
By the time she needed a kidney, I had children of my own. She had reached a stage where, without a kidney donation, she would have to go on dialysis, which is basically a life-support machine. My daughter also had kidney reflux as a young child, which left some scarring on her kidneys. This new family dynamic made me question if I should proceed with donating. What if my daughter needed a kidney in the future? However, I was determined and stood my ground – I was doing it.
Our family had a discussion about who would donate, but we all knew I would be the first if I could. My mother wanted to donate too, but at 74, my sister and I agreed that we wouldn’t let her undergo surgery. We knew that it could have been logical for her to donate first, and I could potentially donate in the future if needed, but my sister refused this idea.
The tests were honestly not bad at all. I had a dedicated nurse at St Thomas ’Hospital who met with me regularly. We had long chats to ensure I understood everything and was happy to continue. I don’t recall much about the tests, which I suppose shows how easy they must have been! I didn’t find them much of an issue at all.
The operation nearly didn’t go ahead on the planned day because my sister had a slight elevated temperature that morning, but in the end they gave the all-clear for the operation to go ahead. I still remember us being wheeled into the operating theatre, one after the other. It felt like just another operation, although I certainly had a few nervous flutters – it was major surgery, after all!
I was given a separate cubicle from my sister for the recovery period, though still on the same ward. I was told that she would look brilliant and I would look like I’d been hit by a bus. After all, she was getting this amazing gift that would allow her body to work properly, while my body would need time adjusting to having one kidney. In the end though, I was fine!
My recovery was brilliant. The only lasting result of the operation is a scar that you can’t even really notice. I was given the usual advice about not lifting much in the first few weeks after the operation, but within two weeks I felt fine enough to resume my normal life. The surgeon gave me a few months off work and my employer was very understanding, however I didn’t need all the time offered and returned to work much sooner.
My sister wasn’t immediately better and had to spend a few more days in the hospital, but after that, she was completely fine too. 21 years on, she’s living proof of how life-changing a kidney donation can be! She lives a normal life. She looks after herself very well and is very conscious of her health, especially because she’s immunosuppressed.
When I donated, I had the assurance that I’d be monitored annually to make sure everything was fine with my remaining kidney. The reassurance is there. Everything was fine and I’ve never had any issues, but it’s a good thing to have!
If you’re considering donating, I say – do it! You’re giving the gift of life with no significant side effects to yourself. It’s normal to go through an emotional journey deciding whether it’s the right decision for you. I’d even say that journey is a good thing. It means you’re really thinking about it and whether it’s right for you. For me, it was absolutely worth it. The benefits to my sister far outweighed the risks to me, which were thoroughly explained during the testing process. My few weeks of discomfort gave my sister 21 years of a normal life without having to live on dialysis. If I could do it again, I absolutely would.
It’s been over two decades since my operation, and I haven’t really talked about it much. I’m usually quite reserved and don’t generally share my story. But I felt that if it helps one person to donate, then who wouldn’t share their story? My sister and I recently attended Kidney Research UK’s London Bridges Walk. We got to talking with a lady who was walking for her husband. When she heard our story, she called her children over to show them what someone could look like over 20 years after donating a kidney! I’m still living my life as anyone else does, and was able to take part in the charity walk without any issues.
Donating a kidney was one of the most impactful decisions of my life, and seeing my sister live a healthy, fulfilling life makes it all worthwhile
