Mandy donated one of her kidneys to her younger cousin Lou, who was diagnosed with kidney problems when she was two years old.
My cousin Lou is 10 years younger than me, but despite our age difference, the two of us have always had an extremely close relationship. I was brought up by our grandmother as my mum died when I was a baby. Lou’s dad was my mum’s younger brother, and always had a big input in my life.
Lou was first diagnosed with problems when she was about 2 years old and used to pass out for quite long periods of time. Her sister tells me she was born with one kidney larger than the other, which was scarred and affected the health of the smaller one. Lou was in and out of Alder Hey Children’s Hospital all her childhood before being transferred to The Royal once she was 18.
Lou had her first kidney taken out when she was 17, in the middle of her A-level studies. She didn’t let this affect any more than it needed to, successfully graduating from work and finding a job for herself, however she had her second kidney out at 24 and was put on dialysis. All while holding down a busy full-time job.
She was on dialysis for about 10 years before she received her first kidney transplant from a deceased donor. I volunteered to be her donor and was told during the testing process that I was an acceptable-but-not-perfect match, however amazingly she was told that a deceased donor was an even better match for her so she went with that option. I’ll never forget the day when my young daughter and I were catching a train to London when we heard the news that her transplant came through. I was crying with joy and still on the phone with her as we boarded the quiet carriage of the train. My daughter disarmed the two frosty-looking ladies staring at us by saying “My mummy can’t help it. My auntie Lou got a kidney and she hasn’t done a wee for 10 years!”
That kidney lasted for over eight years before it began to fail. After that, Lou was told she would need a live donation. Again, I offered my kidney and we restarted the process to see if I was still healthy enough to donate.
I went through all the tests at Liverpool. I’d been through everything before, so they weren’t too onerous. Once everything was checked, I was told that I was still able to donate a kidney to my cousin. They explained that we still weren’t a great match for one another, however receiving a kidney from a living donor offers so many benefits that it was definitely still worth it.
We worked with the hospital to find a suitable operation date that worked for everyone (I didn’t want it happening during my daughter’s GCSEs). I had one final round of tests the week before the operation, then was admitted into hospital the evening before the surgery. My husband and daughter stayed in Lou’s house while I was in hospital, and our older boys stayed at home (for dog-minding duties!).
I’ll always be grateful to my managers at my job for sanctioning my leave. I kept very quiet about the situation for most of the process, only telling a few trusted colleagues, but overall they were incredibly helpful throughout.
The operation went really well. Lou and I weren’t on the same ward for recovery, so I didn’t get to see her until three days after the operation. I recovered very quickly once I got over the initial nausea (I’ve never really been good with anaesthetics). It was a very busy ward, but I was very well looked after and was out by the Thursday (having had my operation on Monday). When the district nurse visited me for a check-up, she didn’t believe I was her patient as I looked so well!
Lou took a little longer to recover than I did, but after a few weeks the improvement was incredible. In fact, a few months after the transplant we had a black humour moment during a family get together. The lift was out of order, so I asked if she’d be okay climbing the stairs. “Of course I will,” she responded, “I’ve got more kidneys than you do!”
Lou continued working full time before being accepted into training to become a vicar, so went down to part-time. She was due to be ordained in Liverpool in September 2020, but sadly in August 2019 it was discovered that she needed open heart surgery for a damaged valve and blocked coronary arteries. She had surgery a few months later but never fully recovered and passed away in early January 2020. I was with her when she died, which the whole family found very fitting.
I can never adequately describe my love for Lou, nor my admiration for the way she lived her life to the full. Her funeral was attended by so many people paying their well-deserved tributes to her. It was my absolute privilege to be able to improve her life.
When people talk to me about my apparent bravery in what I did, I just reply that it was something I could do for her. If she had asked me to go on the rides with her at Alton Towers, now that would have been the biggest challenge of my life! But all I did was what I could, with very little effort on my part. I would encourage anyone who is fit and able to consider giving the gift of life.
"It has now been over a year since my donation. I have zero pain or discomfort, and I am entirely back to normal with nothing but a scar to remind me of my experience."
ReadRachel already knew more than she wanted to about the process of kidney donation before she gave her spare kidney to someone she didn’t know.
ReadHenry donated a kidney to his sister Helen, and has seen first-hand the difference a donation can make for someone with kidney disease.
Read“It has made absolutely no difference to my day-to-day life. My mum, however, has a life like never before.”
ReadNaomi knew she wanted to donate a kidney after learning about kidney disease and reality of life on dialysis.
ReadEmma donated her kidney to a stranger eight years ago after first seeing a story about non-directed donation on TV four years previously.
ReadJoyce thought that she was too old to donate a kidney, before learning there was no upper age limit for donating.
Read"I don’t consider myself to be a hero or brave. I just did what I was brought up to do – to help others."
ReadJulie worked hard to stay fit and healthy while she was preparing to donate a kidney to her nephew.
Read"At the beginning it seemed like a difficult decision to make, but since the operation I don’t have any regrets."
ReadTessa believes that donating a kidney to a stranger is one of the best decisions she's ever made.
ReadLynn was 75 when she donated a kidney altruistically. "I knew I wanted to do it if I was capable of doing so."
Read“You don’t need to be a superhero, you don’t need to be a mega star of any sort. It’s something that normal people just like me can do."
ReadLaura knew she would donate a kidney to her sister if she needed it. When the time came, she found the process absolutely worth it.
ReadMatt's dream of joining the police was shattered by an unexpected diagnosis of kidney disease, but his mother's kidney donation allowed him to thrive and pursue new dreams.
Read"I've learnt a lot about myself and my own health – I would do it again in a heartbeat (if I had another kidney to spare!)"
Read"I believe that if you are in a position to help someone else less fortunate than yourself, then you should do so."
ReadEvery kidneyversary deserves a celebration, but in 2024 Elaine marked a particularly poignant milestone – 10 years since she donated a kidney to her eldest daughter.
Read"I feel immeasurably better in myself knowing I have been able to give my brother the gift of a healthy life."
ReadDennis is keen to show people that you can still live your life as normal and achieve great things after donating a kidney.
ReadWhen Ali heard that a former colleague was waiting for a kidney transplant, he knew within minutes that he would offer one of his.
Read"My mum needed a kidney, and I didn’t need both of mine. When I heard that, I didn't have any hesitation."
ReadKathryn faced life-changing kidney failure after being diagnosed with the rare disease, IgA vasculitis.
ReadMarianne has seen first hand the benefits that kidney donation can bring to a family, and feels blessed that she was able to donate a kidney to her brother.
ReadBen felt drained by kidney disease for over 12 years before his cousin gave him a second chance at life by donating his kidney.
ReadJulie donated to her son and knows first hand that donating an organ doesn’t just save a person. It saves a family.
ReadAnne donated into the UK Living Kidney Sharing Scheme so that her brother could receive a kidney transplant.
Read"Within both the Jain and Hindu faiths benevolence to others is supposed to be a key principle. What could be a greater act of benevolence than transforming someone’s life by giving them part of yourself?"
Read"If I had more Kidneys to give, I'd be donating to anyone who needed one."
ReadTrainee teacher Mark is grateful for the life-saving kidney transplant from his brother that put him back on track for life and his career.
ReadSheldon & Hayley watched their daughter Daisy-May go from a shock diagnosis of kidney failure to dialysis, then transplant, in an emotional rollercoaster lasting 16 months.
ReadMy donor gave me a life to live for. I have done things I had never considered doing whilst on dialysis.
Read"If I had another kidney to spare, I would donate in a heartbeat. It was life changing for my husband, and for me as a person."
ReadDavid is just an average Joe. A motorcycling, 54-year-old father and grandfather. And 6 years ago, he donated one of his kidneys to someone who needed it more than he did.
Read40 years ago, Kathleen donated one of her kidneys to Cheryl, who was just five years old at the time.
Read"Giving a small part of me that I didn’t need to someone else would make little difference in my life, but a huge difference in theirs – it was an easy decision for me to make."
ReadLiz's family struggled at first with her determination to donate her kidney to someone unrelated to her.
Read"I donated a kidney to my dad 10 years ago, aged 25. To me, it was a no brainer."
ReadSarah had seen the life-changing difference donating a kidney could have, and immediately knew it was something she wanted to do.
ReadI would not feel as comfortable in my own skin as I do now if I had not donated my kidney.
ReadPete’s kidney gave me my life back and gave my son Edward a mum with energy and vitality.
ReadWhether you’ve already decided to donate a kidney, or you are interested in finding out more about the process and what it involves, we’re here to answer any questions you might have.
